Thanksgiving Evangelist
I’m sure we all enjoy Halloween and Christmas. Unless you don’t, which is fine–that’s beside the point. The point is, we all enjoy Thanksgiving even more! Probably all of us anyway. At least, I’m confident we all enjoy eating, so let’s say we all enjoy Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It has none of the stress of Christmas, but similar family and food. Plus, we get the day after off as well, which is always a plus. Unless you get paid by the U.S government, in which case you go in to catch up on your filing because who on earth will really call the support desk that day?! Ridiculous!
Have you noticed how Halloween decorating has come to rival Christmas decorating? I’m sure you have. This year there seems to have been a plague of GIANT spiders or at least spiders who spin giant webs. But what about Thanksgiving? Where are the Thanksgiving decoration displays in stores? Where is the array of turkeys or horns of plenty or grateful looking sweet potatoes?! Nowhere, that is where! How is a Thanksgiving loving person supposed to express herself? Generic pumpkins and fall leaves just do not do it. Those just mean autumn.
That’s why I’ve considered spending some of my retirement as a Thanksgiving Evangelist. The holiday needs some help. It needs someone to advocate for it, work up some publicity–take it worldwide! The holiday deserves more notice. Maybe a signature mascot. Thankful Tom. Grateful Gertie. A theme song. Bobby the Blue-tailed Turkey. He got no respect from the other turkeys until he saved dessert. (I’ll work on the details.)
Gnomes! We need turkey gnomes! We have gnomes for every other conceivable thing. If I do nothing else, I can create and popularize turkey gnomes! Everyone will need turkey gnomes! They will come to represent the holiday! I will corner the market! I’ll be rich!
Oh darn, I just googled. There are already turkey gnomes. Even though mine, of course, would be better, I guess I’ll put that idea aside. Frankly, we have too much commercialism anyway. Let’s keep Thanksgiving that quiet holiday where we can get together, enjoy some pie, and be thankful turkey gnomes aren’t really that popular.