Horse Hockey Jockey

While I was having lunch with my friend Grace recently, she told a story about how she and her daughters met a woman riding a horse. They got to chatting and the woman said she trained horses for horse hockey. Horse hockey! I’d never heard of it! I immediately pictured horses on ice skates. Then I realized that was silly. The horses would be playing field hockey. I could see them running up and down the field kicking balls into nets. I wasn’t sure how they would know which net to aim for until I realized they would probably have riders. Yes! I could be a horse hockey jockey!

I admit that most of my excitement about this idea was based on imagining filling in “Horse Hockey Jockey” on forms where I had to list “Occupation”. Plus, it’s fun to say. I would have repartee ready for parties. “Yah, I’m a horse hockey jockey. I don’t want to sound cocky, but it can get pretty rocky.”

As I got to thinking about the details of this idea, however, a couple of issues came to mind. For example, I don’t actually know how to ride a horse. I’ve been on a horse though. Well, a pony. When I was about nine, a guy came around the neighborhood. He would dress the kids in cowboy hats and vests and take their pictures on a pony. Then he would give the kids a “ride” by walking the pony to the end of the block and back. My mom bought pictures of us and sent copies to her brother back east. His kids thought for the longest time that we lived on a ranch out west. I’m not sure if I should list that on my jockey resume or not.

I decided I needed to do some research, so I looked up “horse hockey” online. The results weren’t very helpful. I could find no instance of horses kicking balls into nets! Much as I tried various ways to search, I had to conclude that “horse hockey” is just some other term for “polo”. I was very disappointed. I do not want to “play polo.” I want to be a hockey jockey!  It’s that or nothing!

Back to the drawing board.