Skate Cop
I knew my friends would come through for me! Thanks to cdy and Colleen, I may well have found my next career: Skate Cop! Evidently Quincy (one of the many Quincys, not sure which, I mean there are a ton) is going to have a squad of CHP cops on roller skates! (Oh, the CHP leads one to assume a Quincy in California.) Perfect!
Why, you may ask, do I feel qualified for this? Easy.
I know how to skate. Well, I did anyway. Haven’t actually skated in years, but when I was a kid, I did it all the time. Not that we had fancy “shoe skates”. We had that sort of skate you attached to your shoe and tightened with a skate key. As long as you didn’t misplace the skate key, of course. And it was always exciting when you were skating along and the skate decided to come loose. Still, I feel that makes me what they should call an “OG Skater.” If I can use attach-y skates, I can use shoe skates with no problem. Shoe skates even have brakes of a sort. That would have been handy when an old-style skate came loose as I was careening down the sidewalk on one skate. Which is another good point: all my skating was on city streets. None of this namby pamby smooth and easy skating rink surface. Again: OG = me. Totally qualified.
I used to watch CHiPs. That was about highway patrol cops on motorcycles. They needed that motorized crutch that I, as a skate cop, will not require. And, sure, they rode on highways and pulled over a lot of speeding cars with those bikes, which is not really applicable to someone on skates. But watching was useful background for the law part of things. I feel that I will speed through any legal training required for this new occupation.
I read a lot of mysteries, which means I have a big leg up on crime investigation. I can skate on over to the coroner's office and get the latest info on COD (that’s “Cause of Death” for y’all). I can skate around and ask suspects probing questions like “Where were you at 8 p.m.?!” Sure, many of the mysteries I read are actually set in England. Thus it’s probably good I don’t need to drive as I might get confused on which side of the street to be on. Not as big an issue on skates.
You know, my mom was a veteran skater. She always wanted shoe skates, but never got them. I bet if she had, she could have easily skated after some runaway thief and taken that perp down! That’s what I aspire to.