Dog Groomer

That is a picture of our actual dog. Most of the time, she is a Mini Yeti. Sometimes, we get her professionally groomed and for a split second she looks like a Malti-poo. At this point, getting her a haircut costs more than me getting my hair done! Since retirement means we may have to cut back on luxuries, one obvious option for my retirement occupation is to become a dog groomer!  How hard could it be?

This is an area where I do have some past experience. (Note that I used the word “experience”, not “skill”.)

When we were young, we had three dogs. We would give them baths, so I can do that. Unfortunately, they usually ran under my mom’s bed when they heard us turn on the bath water. It was a big bed and they were small dogs, so the first half hour consisted of the water cooling as we tried to lure them out. Eventually we’d have to ring the doorbell to trick them. 

Other things in my favor are I own a dog brush and comb. So I already have the necessary tools. Except for scissors. Are there special dog scissors? I better investigate that point. 

Oh and I don’t have any of those dog bow ties or hair ribbons that groomers put on the dogs afterwards. I think those are requirements.

Plus, these days, mobile grooming is all the thing. I would need a grooming van. Those have got to be expensive, especially if they have sinks. They must have sinks.

And I’d have to drive to people’s houses in the van. I’d have to deal with parking and, to be honest, I get lost a lot. 

This just sounds like too much work.