Cryptozoologist

My husband suggested I become a cryptozoologist. Probably because I asked him what the heck a cryptozoologist is after having seen someone described as such while watching a Bigfoot marathon.

It turns out it’s someone who studies animals that don’t exist. This sounds do-able! All I have to figure out is what to study.

Bigfoot is so overdone. That field of cryptozoology is so full that I probably would never make tenure.

Yeti sounds interesting, but I already solved that one when we adopted our dog. She’s a mini-yeti.

I do like the idea of studying the Loch Ness Monster. I went to Loch Ness once and it is beautiful there. However, as she is real, that doesn’t really qualify.

I considered chupacabra, but I think that is just a word people made up because it’s fun to say, like “vichyssoise” or “Benedict Cumberbatch”. 

Finally it occurred to me that if I’m studying animals that don’t exist anyway, I can just make up my own! Perfect. I don’t need to go anywhere freezing or swampy. My animal can live on a tropical island, near tiki bars. He can show himself only during a full moon, so I only have to actually search for him once a month. My only fear is once word gets out, everyone will throw themselves into the fray and I’ll lose my advantage. The pressure to publish might become too much.

Oh well, if that happens, I can just discover a new animal to study. Maybe one that enjoys lazy afternoons floating down a river.